Wednesday, August 19, 2015

When does it get easier?

Nova pooped all over herself and her car seat while she was at my work today. You're welcome for the visual.

I'm lucky. I'm lucky to have the support of countless family and friends. I have an employer that understands and is flexible with the craziness that is my life right now. I have a partner in life who tries as hard as he can to make it easier for me because he knows i get caught up on the little things. And most of all I'm lucky to have two kids that are healthy and good and cute!! We have so much.

But when does it get easier? When will 95% of my days go off without a hitch (as opposed to an estimated 30%)? Is it just me that feels like every day is hard?

Even the days that I have something simple planned quickly become filled with little things to worry about and plan for and figure out. Even days that are ordinary and similar to the one before them feel like madness.

I can think of at least five things to blame the madness on. I'll even tell you what I think they are.

1- being a full-ish time employee
2- being a damn near full-ish time mom
3- having one kid that doesn't have childcare
4- only having 1 car but at least 2 work schedules to work with
5- having a touch of anxiety that strikes at all the wrong times and makes it hard to get through anything slightly stressful

I'm not really looking for an answer here because I know it never really gets easy. The ebb and flow of life promises easier times but with the ease of one situation comes the difficulty of another one, and so life is never completely easy. I'm just hoping someone can relate and hoping this helps someone who feels like it MUST just be them that feels the hardness of their life right now. I feel it, and yet I can still feel that it will get better in some ways.

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