Monday, September 14, 2015

About making pretty things and figuring yourself out

The title of this post is stupid but it's the only relevant thing I could think of. I almost called it "I don't have a title for this post" but that just sounds lazy. So instead I got real and told you exactly what you'll read about.

Last October I stopped blogging. I felt like crap (babies in utero do that) and felt like if the biggest thing happening in my life couldn't be shared online, nothing else could be either. I rarely posted on social media, I didn't even want to design for people anymore. Then I shared our news and felt better. I wanted to post more, I even wanted to get back to blogging but didn't want to be "that" blogger that just posts bump updates. I couldn't promise anything. And even though I felt pretty amazing physically and mentally, I didn't have the energy to make pretty things or explore creatively. I dragged my feet on every freelance project that came my way because at the end of a full day of creating at Image Agent, the last thing I wanted to do was look at the #5D5D5D colored screen. (Design people, do you see what I did there?)

Fast forward to now, and I'm busy busy with the exact kind of freelance work that I always secretly wanted to do. I even tweeted a few months ago about wanting to make pretty wedding invitations all day long. Well it's happening slowly but surely! I love my job at Image Agent (stay tuned for new things happening there) and might just work there until I die, but it's really fufilling to make the things I really want to be making. After putting a ton of energy into my clients and projects there all day and taking care of Julian and Nova (and our always messy house) when I get home, it's fun for me to put my energy into something that doesn't need a ton of love and attention and is all my own. I can do it when I feel like it-mostly- and it can end any time I don't have the time or energy. It can be as big or small as I have time for, and (bonus!) I can make a little extra money. Now if only I would start charging what I'm worth (eek!!).

It's scary to jump into something you love doing when it feels like everyone is doing it these days. It's so easy to look at someone and say "well, they're not realllly a ______" or "well she hasn't been doing it as long as me" or "she doesn't have ______ for her business so it's not a business". I know it because I've said those things in my head about other people and it's just not ok. So I figure if I'm saying it, then so is someone else and they might say it about me. So as I grow and learn about my passions I'm taking it slow, staying on the DL a little bit, but when someone asks me about my work I'm owning it and saying "Yes! I do that!". Does that make sense? I guess a balance of modesty and confidence is what I'm going for. Every time someone says "I didn't know you did this- you're great!" I gain a little more confidence to share it. Also, Instagram likes are fun.

Moving on to "figuring yourself out". It's fun, it's happening, and it's important. No just for moms but especially for moms. My whole life is thinking about what to buy them, do with them, do for them. I forget what I want to do with myself (besides take my sleepy, currenty twitchy eyes up to bed) and for myself. I don't want to be one of those middle aged moms who feels like they never got to follow their dreams and see where it lead them. I've re-sized my dreams to be realistic but they're nonetheless exciting and fun.

So hey, HIRE ME. Trust me to make pretty things for you, or if you don't need invitations or a photo shoot, be my cheerleader (Omi voice).

No comments:

Post a Comment