Playing in the rain

Julian, 3 years and 3 months. He's my sour patch kid, the funniest person I know and the only person in this world that can make me cry of frustration and then cry of laughter 5 minutes later. He's scary smart, and I am thankful for him every single day. But mostly when he's asleep and I have a minute to myself because he doesn't give you that kind of time while he's awake.

Intention from Frustration

I think it happens to all creative people. Actually I think it happens to every person with any kind of aspiration. You're X, you see Y, want to be Y, but don't know how to be more than X. Don't know how to get there or why it't not happening faster. You're doing the right things, or so you think, and it's not happening.

It's silly because we all know how to really get better at anything: time and practice. Of course no one is a pro right off the bat. But it feels like everyone else but you is "making it" bigger and faster.

I think the key, at least with the things I'm aspiring to be and create, is to slow it down. Take the time to remember how I wanted something to look and figure out what I need to do to set it up for success. Pictures, designs, everything down to what cothes I buy. I'd like to stop getting things done and start doing them the way they feel good to me, and something I'm proud of later. Now that I'm writing this out I'm thinking of all the different things this is applying to in my life, and how much more I need to implement "intentional" into my daily life. So many days go by where I wear something just cause it's clean, eat some junky food just because I'm hungry and too lazy to cook, buy something just because I "need" something new.

And then it filters into my work. Which is what this post was originally about. Making a picture more exposed because it's dark, when I could play with the darkness that I originally captured. Designing something in a way that's predictable and easy. It's easy to do the first thing that comes to mind, but something magical happens when you pause. And think. Think about something differently than what you'd normally do. Maybe even use a mistake to your advantage and play with it until it isn't a mistake anymore. And if it still ends up being something you're not happy with, that's ok. The chances of making something out of nothing are too great to pass by.

So next time you're about to make an easy choice, think a little harder and with intention. Intention is what makes you better at what you're doing. It's what gets you closer to being/doing/having/creating that thing you've got in mind.

Side note** the picture above was chosen for two reasons: I took my time photographing Nova one morning when the lighting behind my house seemed perfect. And I was prtty happy with the results! ALSO because this girl is just so breathtakingly beautiful I can't help but share her.

First Day of Fall // Finger Lakes Family Photographer

So I started this blog with the intention to share more motherhood related things, but it turns out I just need another place to share my creative endeavers! So here is another photoshoot... actually really two shoots in one session where the kids are cousins!

Pretty excited about how these turned out!! First we pressed our luck on some train tracks, then headed to Owen Orchards and took our pictures in the most beautiful light. I'm still learning the ins and outs of Lightroom and I'm not 100% sold on the editing in every picture as I'd like to get it more consistent-looking at least within each shoot. I might have to revisit these and play with them more! Photogs out there- any constructive criticism is welcome!!

So far there has been an unbelievable response to these, which makes my heart just sing. So thanks everyone for your support!

About making pretty things and figuring yourself out

The title of this post is stupid but it's the only relevant thing I could think of. I almost called it "I don't have a title for this post" but that just sounds lazy. So instead I got real and told you exactly what you'll read about.

Last October I stopped blogging. I felt like crap (babies in utero do that) and felt like if the biggest thing happening in my life couldn't be shared online, nothing else could be either. I rarely posted on social media, I didn't even want to design for people anymore. Then I shared our news and felt better. I wanted to post more, I even wanted to get back to blogging but didn't want to be "that" blogger that just posts bump updates. I couldn't promise anything. And even though I felt pretty amazing physically and mentally, I didn't have the energy to make pretty things or explore creatively. I dragged my feet on every freelance project that came my way because at the end of a full day of creating at Image Agent, the last thing I wanted to do was look at the #5D5D5D colored screen. (Design people, do you see what I did there?)

Fast forward to now, and I'm busy busy with the exact kind of freelance work that I always secretly wanted to do. I even tweeted a few months ago about wanting to make pretty wedding invitations all day long. Well it's happening slowly but surely! I love my job at Image Agent (stay tuned for new things happening there) and might just work there until I die, but it's really fufilling to make the things I really want to be making. After putting a ton of energy into my clients and projects there all day and taking care of Julian and Nova (and our always messy house) when I get home, it's fun for me to put my energy into something that doesn't need a ton of love and attention and is all my own. I can do it when I feel like it-mostly- and it can end any time I don't have the time or energy. It can be as big or small as I have time for, and (bonus!) I can make a little extra money. Now if only I would start charging what I'm worth (eek!!).

It's scary to jump into something you love doing when it feels like everyone is doing it these days. It's so easy to look at someone and say "well, they're not realllly a ______" or "well she hasn't been doing it as long as me" or "she doesn't have ______ for her business so it's not a business". I know it because I've said those things in my head about other people and it's just not ok. So I figure if I'm saying it, then so is someone else and they might say it about me. So as I grow and learn about my passions I'm taking it slow, staying on the DL a little bit, but when someone asks me about my work I'm owning it and saying "Yes! I do that!". Does that make sense? I guess a balance of modesty and confidence is what I'm going for. Every time someone says "I didn't know you did this- you're great!" I gain a little more confidence to share it. Also, Instagram likes are fun.

Moving on to "figuring yourself out". It's fun, it's happening, and it's important. No just for moms but especially for moms. My whole life is thinking about what to buy them, do with them, do for them. I forget what I want to do with myself (besides take my sleepy, currenty twitchy eyes up to bed) and for myself. I don't want to be one of those middle aged moms who feels like they never got to follow their dreams and see where it lead them. I've re-sized my dreams to be realistic but they're nonetheless exciting and fun.

So hey, HIRE ME. Trust me to make pretty things for you, or if you don't need invitations or a photo shoot, be my cheerleader (Omi voice).

Kaleigh + Vinnie | Finger Lakes Photographer

Marriage! It's happening pretty much every weekend lately and I freaking love it. It's so inspiring to watch two young people continuing their lives together, and also starting one life together officially. It seems so crazy to me that people my age are doing this grown-up thing, and then I remember that we ARE growing up. Does that sound stupid? It sounds stupid to me but it's something I think about every time I see or do something I always reserved for "grown-ups". 

ANYWAYS... Kaleigh and Vinnie. One of the most gorgeous couples I have ever laid eyes on. I dare say perfect, but no couple is I suppose. But damn near perfect. Congrats to them- I can't wait to witness this love on September 19th.